The Rise of ‘Banksying’: A New Toxic Trend in Relationships
In today’s digital age, technology is reshaping how we navigate romance, introducing a lexicon of toxic behaviors. Among these, “ghosting,” “curving,” and the latest trend, “banksying,” highlight unhealthy dynamics in modern relationships.
Ghosting refers to abruptly disappearing from a partner’s life without explanation, while curving involves responding minimally to messages, signaling disinterest. However, banksying denotes a more insidious form of relationship deterioration. Named after the elusive street artist Banksy, this behavior signifies a gradual weakening of the romantic bond, often unnoticed by one partner until it’s too late.
Raúl Padilla, a psychologist and couples therapist, explains that many prefer to avoid the uncomfortable act of breaking up, opting instead for banksying, which allows the relationship to dwindle instead of ending decisively. This phenomenon often arises from one partner’s emotional or financial dependency, prompting them to prolong the relationship until the other is forced to initiate a breakup.
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology identifies two phases of relationship decline—the pre-terminal phase and the terminal phase—which can last several years and highlight differing experiences of banksying among partners. The “victim” of this trend may experience anxiety, low self-esteem, and confusion as they sense the disconnect but lack clarity on the cause.
The reluctance to confront issues, fear of loneliness, and sheer inertia can all contribute to banksying. As relationships flounder, individuals may even engage in overlapping romances rather than face being alone.
While breakups are inherently stressful, banksying can exacerbate psychological distress, leading to irritation, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy for the partner left in limbo. Experts emphasize the need for clear communication to mitigate the harmful effects of this modern relationship trend.
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