Miss Manners Weighs In on Hosting Etiquette
In a recent column, Miss Manners addressed two timeless dilemmas faced by hosts and guests alike. The first inquiry comes from an individual who fondly recalls giving guests a “grand tour” of their home, a practice now seemingly extinct among others. Miss Manners opines that such tours can come off as showing off, particularly unless one resides in a historic property or is hosting a housewarming party. She suggests that newcomers often prefer to get straight to the essentials, like the location of the bathroom, which could be asked without formality. The key, she notes, is to offer drinks before the tour as a gesture of hospitality.
The second scenario involves a retirement celebration where an invited guest sought to bring additional family members. Initially permitted to bring her father, the guest later decided to bring her sibling and daughter instead. Miss Manners considers this a classic case of “bait-and-switch,” where individuals assume they can bring extra guests without prior agreement. She emphasizes that hosts should maintain control over guest lists, and adding uninvited attendees can dilute the intimate nature of personal occasions.
Hosts should not be expected to foot the bill for unexpected guests, and the assumption that extra company is acceptable without consulting the host is misguided. Overall, Miss Manners advocates for clear communication and respect for the social dynamics of gatherings.
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